This is a story my mom just read to me a few days ago.It's called "Guess How Much I Love You" by Sam McBratney It makes me feel loved by my Mommy and I will never forget cuddling on the couch and having story time :) I love you Mommy Nean.
Little Nutbrown Hare was going to bed & held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare’s very long ears. He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening.
“Guess how much I love you” he said.
“I don’t think I could guess that” said Big Nutbrown Hare.
“This much” said Little Nutbrown Hare stretching out his arms as wide as he could go.
Big Nutbrown Hare had even longer arms. “But I love you this much” he said.
“Hmmm. That’s a lot” thought Little Nutbrown Hare
“I love you as high as I can reach” said Little Nutbrown Hare.
“I love you as high as I can reach” said Big Nutbrown Hare.
“That is very high” thought Little Nutbrown Hare. “I wish I had arms like that”
Then Little Nutbrown Hare had a good idea. He tumbled upside down then reached up the tree trunk with his feet. “I love you all the way up to my toes” he said.
“And I love you up to your toes” said Big Nutbrown Hare swinging him up over his head.
“I love you as I high as I can hop” laughed Little Nutbrown Hare, bouncing up and down.
“But I love you as high as I can hop” smiled Big Nutbrown Hare---and he hopped so high that his ears touched the branches above.
“That’s good hopping”, thought Little Nutbrown Hare. “I wish I could hop like that”.
“I love you all the way down the lane as far as the river”, cried Little Nutbrown Hare.
“I love you across the river and over the hills”, said Big Nutbrown Hare.
“That’s very far,” thought Little Nutbrown Hare. He was almost too sleepy to think anymore. Then he looked beyond the thornbushes, out into the big dark night. Nothing could be farther than the sky.
“I love you right up to the moon” he said and closed his eyes.
“Oh that’s far,’ said Big Nutbrown Hare. “That’s very, very far”
Big Nutbrown Hare settled Little Nutbrown Hare into his bed of leaves. He leaned over and kissed him goodnight. Then he laid down close by and whispered with a smile. “I love you right up to the moon---and back”.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Hurting
The past 2 weeks of my life..have sucked. Completely. And now I have this sick thing going on where I might-as-well be hooked up on billions of tubes in a hospital somewhere. It hurts to move my neck, my nose is stuffed up and runny at the same time, I have a headache that comes and goes, I can't eat because it makes me feel nauseous and that's probably not helping the headache..ugh. I have to pull an extra hundred dollars from somewhere to cover part of some other chicks rent that I don't even know. I have to find a new job. Plus, I have to watch my niece this week and finsh moving stuff at the same time. And through all of this I'm so alone and somehow I'm hurting people and I don't know how. I guess I just have a talent for it. I wish I was dead. Why did I give my blade to my Dad? When I need it most, it's gone. And it's making me sick to my stomach knowing that I hurt one of the people closest to me unintentionally. I don't even deserve to be alive. Why hasn't someone killed me yet? I guess I'll just have to do it myself.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Broken Down Turns
Broken down
No more tears to be cried
But so many more to come
Every little inch
It all hurts my body, soul
And brings me to a river of tears
I can't handle this
I can't do it anymore
Everything is crashing down
Falling apart
Right before my very eyes
And no one seems to care
Everyone is annoyed
But to me
It's a feeling of loneliness
Abandonment
And being stranded with nowhere to go
But it's so hard to take it all on
By yourself
But what are you supposed to do
When people kick you when you're down
And you've put your walls
Back up
Even higher than before
And stronger yet
Where do you go
Where do you turn
When all the shoulders
You've ever leaned on
Have been turned
On you
No more tears to be cried
But so many more to come
Every little inch
It all hurts my body, soul
And brings me to a river of tears
I can't handle this
I can't do it anymore
Everything is crashing down
Falling apart
Right before my very eyes
And no one seems to care
Everyone is annoyed
But to me
It's a feeling of loneliness
Abandonment
And being stranded with nowhere to go
But it's so hard to take it all on
By yourself
But what are you supposed to do
When people kick you when you're down
And you've put your walls
Back up
Even higher than before
And stronger yet
Where do you go
Where do you turn
When all the shoulders
You've ever leaned on
Have been turned
On you
Silly Girl
Silly girl
Who trusted
Words & phrases
That she wanted to hear
Stupid girl
Who lowered
All her walls
That kept out the hurt
Silent girl
Who closed
Her loud mouth
That protested putting walls down
Lonely girl
Who's now
Left all alone
To cry in the darkness
Who trusted
Words & phrases
That she wanted to hear
Stupid girl
Who lowered
All her walls
That kept out the hurt
Silent girl
Who closed
Her loud mouth
That protested putting walls down
Lonely girl
Who's now
Left all alone
To cry in the darkness
Friday, October 8, 2010
Just Stop
I feel like a part of me is gone. Like, there's nothing left inside of me. I feel so alone, all the time. And now the truth that I don't want to tell anyone...that I've only told to two people..I don't want anyone to know. But they'll find out. Eventually. It's not something easy to hide. But I guess. I just wish I knew if I was really feeling a lot of what I'm feeling or if I brought it on myself. Oh life..can't you just..stop?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Roots in a Storm
I pull away because I can feel you letting go
I look away because watching you walk away is killing me
I know you don't mean to abandon me
But it's happened too many times before
To trust the words of man
Or listen to false promises
Life is a river
That has swept away many of the leaves I've loved
And caught some of the others in strong currents
But I always seem to be a nearby tree
Helpless yet ever growing
No matter how many leaves drop from my branches
But you
You have become my roots
And without you I cannot survive
Yet with you I am planted where I am
Never moving
Shaking
But swaying in the breezes of a hurricane
And although you are you attached
You feel none of the rain
None of the wind
And none of the lightning
Even when you think you do
You only feel the little drips
That fall as my tears
But one day
I will wither and die
Or be torn away
From my roots
By the strength of the storm
And all you can do
Is stay grounded
And hope for a better
Stronger
More beautiful tree to grow
To replace me
I look away because watching you walk away is killing me
I know you don't mean to abandon me
But it's happened too many times before
To trust the words of man
Or listen to false promises
Life is a river
That has swept away many of the leaves I've loved
And caught some of the others in strong currents
But I always seem to be a nearby tree
Helpless yet ever growing
No matter how many leaves drop from my branches
But you
You have become my roots
And without you I cannot survive
Yet with you I am planted where I am
Never moving
Shaking
But swaying in the breezes of a hurricane
And although you are you attached
You feel none of the rain
None of the wind
And none of the lightning
Even when you think you do
You only feel the little drips
That fall as my tears
But one day
I will wither and die
Or be torn away
From my roots
By the strength of the storm
And all you can do
Is stay grounded
And hope for a better
Stronger
More beautiful tree to grow
To replace me
Updatess
Helloooo everyone. I know it's been a while since I acually blogged or..anything to that effact, but I figured it was time for a check in. How are we all doing ladies?? After a not-so-skinny September, I've been working my ass off trying to get back into the swing of things.
The last week of September wasn't too bad, but ever since, I've been working harder. It's a lot easier to not eat and lose weight when you're at work, especially for me. See, I work in a warehouse where I'm on my feet eight hours a day. Not to mention, I have to do extra work because no one at my job wants to do their job. What they're getting paid for, I'm not entirely sure.
But I usually eat nothing on my first break, & nothing for breakfast. On lunch break, I haven't been eating anything :) But this week it's been mostly grapes. But, I work it all off in the end. Actually, right now, I'm using one of the best inventions ever; a tread desk. All it is, is a staack of shelves basically with a treadmill underneath so you can work and workout, at the same time :)
Anyway, back to my update. I am down aproximately, 7 pounds since last week!! It's amaz9ing what portion control and some walking can do for you. I'm fluxuating, but mostly about 3 pounds away from my first goal weight of 145 pounds. I know, I'm fat. Then, it'll be another 10 pounds to get down to 135 pounds. My ultimate goal weight is about 120 pounds or whenever I feel I'm thin enough..if that's possible.
It actually made me smile today, when my pants kept sliding down at work. Only because it made me realize that these same pants had at one time, barely fit me because I was so fat :) So it was just a reminder that I'm losing weight even when I feel I'm not. But the scale doesn't lie. I even weigh myself twice(once & again right after) just to make sure it's the same number.
But that's all for my update. Things are going well! Hope all of you are working your way to a smaller October! :) Good luck ladiesss! Love, Hope, & Zero Calories haha
The last week of September wasn't too bad, but ever since, I've been working harder. It's a lot easier to not eat and lose weight when you're at work, especially for me. See, I work in a warehouse where I'm on my feet eight hours a day. Not to mention, I have to do extra work because no one at my job wants to do their job. What they're getting paid for, I'm not entirely sure.
But I usually eat nothing on my first break, & nothing for breakfast. On lunch break, I haven't been eating anything :) But this week it's been mostly grapes. But, I work it all off in the end. Actually, right now, I'm using one of the best inventions ever; a tread desk. All it is, is a staack of shelves basically with a treadmill underneath so you can work and workout, at the same time :)
Anyway, back to my update. I am down aproximately, 7 pounds since last week!! It's amaz9ing what portion control and some walking can do for you. I'm fluxuating, but mostly about 3 pounds away from my first goal weight of 145 pounds. I know, I'm fat. Then, it'll be another 10 pounds to get down to 135 pounds. My ultimate goal weight is about 120 pounds or whenever I feel I'm thin enough..if that's possible.
It actually made me smile today, when my pants kept sliding down at work. Only because it made me realize that these same pants had at one time, barely fit me because I was so fat :) So it was just a reminder that I'm losing weight even when I feel I'm not. But the scale doesn't lie. I even weigh myself twice(once & again right after) just to make sure it's the same number.
But that's all for my update. Things are going well! Hope all of you are working your way to a smaller October! :) Good luck ladiesss! Love, Hope, & Zero Calories haha
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