Tonight

Ok. New plan. Tonight.

I can't do this another day. Not another minute, not another second. I'm leaving tonight. I have to. It's something I have to do. Pack my bags and sneak out the window. They'll never know. I'll be on my way. Not sure where I'll end up, but it's got to be better than here. That's all I've got to say. Goodbye.

Hell on Earth

Pushed around
Degraded, berated
Pulled apart
Altogether irritated.

She's been there
Done that
Seen it all
Life doesn't have censors.

Why does she stand it
She doesn't know
So she walked away
Had nothing more to say.

She didn't wanna hear it
Couldn't do it
She fell to the ground
And began to cry.

Leaving everything behind
Couldn't look back
For fear of return
To a life of hell on earth.

The Pull of Your Gravity

In the corners of my mind
I run far away from you
Yet in the shadows of my heart
I sit and wait for you.

You may not know it
But you hold my heart
Within your mind
Possibly next to your heart.

I stand still and feel your arms
Look into the depths of your soul
See your eyes in mine
I lose myself.

You take my hand
You spin me around
We smile and laugh
There's nothing we can't do.

Hold me close to you
Tightly, never let me go
We sway back and forth slowly
Your grip tightens around my waist.

Somehow we always end up this way
In the end of it all
Always the same and never changing
How long will we continue like this?

You let me free
Yet my heart never wanders
It's binded to yours
But do you even know?

You always pull me back in
As the tide does the sand
But I fall for it every time
My mind runs but my heart lingers.

Your lips touch mine
Gently, softly, slowly, and surely
Why do I keep coming back to you
I'm really starting to hate the pull of your gravity.

I

I stand
Heavy with sleep
In a mood of carelessness
Knees weak with sleeplessness.

I feel
A gentle touch
A head on my shoulder
Arms wrapped around my waist.

I smile
Look at him
See his eyes meet mine
Feel his grip on me tighten.

I watch
See him smile
His glance to me
Closing his eyes and leaning in.

**MORE OF THIS POEM TO COME LATER TONIGHT.**

What Happens in the Darkness

She lies awake
Her heart slowly beating
Awaiting now the break
At her soul the pain's been eating.

A song of truth sounds
The tears that overflow
On her bed she pounds
All the lyrics are what she already know.

The darkness carries her tears
Through the ever silent night
An outpouring of all the years
As it's fading-the light.

The breakdown comes
She tries to hide
All the feelings it numbs
Everything that's inside.

She shakes and convulses
There's nothing she can do
Initiating the rise of her pulses
Then still she lies and no one's got a clue.

Here

So I awoke this morning confused, upset, and a little out of order. I thought I could make it through yesterday, but I convinced myself of a lie. My phone hasn't rang yet, he hasn't come back yet. A good thing? Here I sit; here I lie, typing on his laptop, wishing it wasn't so hard to be here-But it is. I was doing a pretty good job of forgetting him and going back to where we should've stayed-as friends. But it didn't work.

Last night. I don't really remember what EXACTLY happened. All I remember is being hugged about 5 times in the warmth of his home- by him- and then him leaving and me being out in the cold. I don't really know where to go from here. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go from here. I just...I just don't. Whatever.

So I ended up in his bed, in his hoody, on his laptop...God.