To You

It's late. After midnight. And here I lay. It's been a little over a week and I can't stop thinking about you. Every ounce of me wants you back and everything inside of me misses you like crazy. I told you I didn't want you to have to hurt anymore. In some way, I'm hoping that you realize it hurts more to be without me altogether than to have to wait a week to see me. I really care about you and I want what's best for you. But at the same time as all of this, if you wanted me back, I'm not sure if I could say yes. Who's to say that anything would change? It almost felt like I was pulling every string possible to see you, but you weren't budging. I mean, on days that we could've hung out, or said we'd try to, you slept all day or never asked your parents if we could hang. When we split, yea, I was upset. I cried, over you. I've never cried over a boyfriend before in my entire life.
I don't know what to think anymore. I guess I was stupid for thinking that you were different than the rest. For thinking that you actually cared. Sometimes I wonder if you wanna talk to me now, you just don't want to text me first. We agreed we'd stay friends, and if you wanted to get back together, there's a good chance I'd say yes. But it'd because for once in my life I'm choosing to see your imperfections, perfectly. I may not have gotten to see you as often as I'd liked to of, but I was just fine knowing you were mine and that for that ten minutes a week, I would be in your arms. No matter what. And that I'd have at least one good day a week knowing that I'd see you at the end of the day to end it amazingly. But I guess caring isn't enough these days. I hope I pulled a lever in your brain that makes you realize how much I really do care for you and that I'm not like the other girls who just say yes to say that they have a boyfriend only to dump you off for the next hunk of meat they see. No. I'm real. And if you even wanna think about getting back with me, you better get real too. I'm lookin for somethin serious and if you aren't serious about me, than I'm glad we split. I just wish you would let me know what's on your mind and how you feel about me so I might know where to start.