A few days ago, I was reflecting on some deep things in my relationship with a close friend. I had told him that every time Chris and I kiss or I think about our kisses, I get butterflies. I then proceeded to ask him what this meant and if it was a good thing. He told me that it means I'm doing it right and that maybe Chris thinks about kissing me for a little bit before he actually does because he wants it be sincere. The butterflies, I was also told, meant that there's more than just flesh in the transaction and that the souls are reaching out to one another.
I responded to this by telling my friend that I don't think I love him yet, which is where I am at. His response to that has been in my mind every day since he said it. Just two simple words: "Define love". And that's all there was. I thought on his reply for a few moments, knowing that love is not as clearly defined as we all think. The dictionary I used defined love as this:
Love: 1. Any object of warm affection or devotion
2. A strong positive emotion of regard and affection
3. A beloved person; used as terms of endearment
4. Have a great affection or liking for
5. To be enamored or in love with
Yet the Bible defines love as this(1 Cor. 13:1-8; 13):
Love: 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I ended up responding with this: "I love him as my boyfriend and I love him as a friend, but I don't think I'm ready to say 'I love you' yet and I don't think he is either."
Ever since, I can't stop thinking about that two-word question: define love. And I started realizing that love isn't just one specific characteristic or trait. Love is many different things and everyone has their own meaning, their own definition of "love". So I started thinking, what's mine? What is it that makes me say that I'm "in love" or that I love someone. What is it that provokes me to say the words "I love you" with such a passion and meaning behind them. And here's what I came up with:
That's right. Nothing. You wanna know why? Because love is undefinable. Love is indescribable, and love is what you make it. Love is the "greatest of these." You can't buy love, nor put a price on it, nor define it, nor begin to find it's depths. Love is feeling boundless within your own boundries. It's feeling free to express yourself. But most of all, love is yours. No one can take it from you, but anyone can show it to you. And just the same, you can show love to anyone. Finding love isn't the end of the journey; it's just the beginning.
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