Trying

Trying to be strong
Trying to hide every emotion
Trying to feel no pain
But I feel it still.

Trying to shake moods
Trying to be happy
Trying to clear tear-clouded eyes
But I'm blinded still.

Trying to move on
Trying to make new memories
Trying to forget
But I remember still.

Trying to become new
Trying to be a better person
Trying to remove who I've been
But I'm there still.

Trying to close up my soul
Trying to heal these wounds
Trying to sew up my heart
But I bleed still.

Trying to contain myself
Trying to train thoughts
Trying to shut my mouth
But I speak still.

Trying to open up
Trying to let it out
Trying to reach out
But I wall-up still.

Trying to run faster
Trying to succeed
Trying to jump hurdles
But I fall still.

Trying to stay closed-up
Trying to not trust
Trying to accept defeat
Trying to let blood escape
Trying to be my old self
Trying to be weak
Trying to hold onto depression
And I do still.