Sunday, February 15, 2009

Here

So I awoke this morning confused, upset, and a little out of order. I thought I could make it through yesterday, but I convinced myself of a lie. My phone hasn't rang yet, he hasn't come back yet. A good thing? Here I sit; here I lie, typing on his laptop, wishing it wasn't so hard to be here-But it is. I was doing a pretty good job of forgetting him and going back to where we should've stayed-as friends. But it didn't work.

Last night. I don't really remember what EXACTLY happened. All I remember is being hugged about 5 times in the warmth of his home- by him- and then him leaving and me being out in the cold. I don't really know where to go from here. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go from here. I just...I just don't. Whatever.

So I ended up in his bed, in his hoody, on his laptop...God.

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